Your Silence Serves No One: Why It’s Time to Brag on Yourself
There’s a Luvvie Ajayi Jones quote that’s been living in my head rent-free: “Your silence serves no one.” I heard it once and couldn’t un-hear it. It caught me off guard—like that friend who calls you out and lifts you up at the same time.
I sat with it, let it simmer. Because if I’m honest, there were so many moments where I downplayed my wins to make others comfortable. I’d say, “Oh it was nothing,” or, “Just doing my job,” when I knew I’d just pulled off something major. And for what? A gold star in humility? A badge of modesty that no one asked me to wear?
Let me tell you now: that silence was doing more harm than good.
black women are conditioned to play it small
Growing up, I didn’t see a lot of women who looked like me bragging on themselves. I saw excellence, yes. But I also saw women dim their light to avoid being labeled too much. Too loud, too confident, too ambitious.
We internalize that stuff. We keep our heads down, let our work “speak for itself,” and quietly hope someone notices.
Spoiler alert: sometimes they don’t.
Especially in rooms where you’re already fighting for a seat at the table, silence isn’t noble, it’s invisible. And if we’re not saying look what I did, we’re letting someone else narrate the story of our success. Nine times out of ten, they’re not telling it right.
bragging isn’t arrogance—it’s acknowledgment
Bragging gets a bad name because we associate it with ego. But let’s reframe it: bragging is honoring your effort. It’s saying, “I did that,” with your whole chest. No apology. No disclaimer.
Every time I’ve paused to acknowledge a win, whether it was launching something new, or just surviving a tough week, I noticed two things:
My confidence grew.
So did the confidence of the people around me.
Because when we share our stories, we give others permission to do the same. And when Black women take up space in that way? That’s revolutionary. That’s legacy-building.
i challenge you to brag on yourself
Because silence won’t get you the credit you deserve. The people winning are the ones speaking up.
Because your story can inspire someone else. You’re the blueprint and don’t even know it.
Because self-celebration is self-care. It’s not about ego. It’s about seeing you.
Because you work hard and that deserves recognition. Period.
Because shrinking serves no one. Not your goals. Not your community. Not your peace.
it’s only up from here
Now I make it a point to share the big stuff and the baby steps. I screenshot my own wins. I talk about them in meetings. I remind myself, out loud, of how far I’ve come.
And it’s not always comfortable, especially when I know people are watching, waiting to call it “doing too much.” But here’s the truth: I am doing too much.
Too much greatness to stay quiet about.
Too much purpose to shrink for someone else's comfort.
So here’s my brag: i hosted my first ever conference and it was LIT!
Now it’s your turn. Drop your brag in the comments. Say it out loud. Screenshot it. Text it to your group chat. Post it. Celebrate it.
You’ve got every right to take up space—and every reason to shine.
